The Sound of Depression

Apathy is the good friend of comfort. Comfort is a place where you don’t thrive. It’s atrophy for the soul. Sometimes I have to physically force myself to move, to get off the couch, to shower, to be human. Getting out of bed, putting on running shoes, eating for health over taste, these are things the average person does. When I rise out of the comfortable part of myself, I'm healing. When I just stop going through the motions and actually feel something, it’s one of the best feelings in the world. It's the difference between feeling alive vs just living.

For those that don’t understand what a person with depression goes through, the best analogy I can think of (and of course it’s with food) is a donut. Think biting into a warm donut, with extra rich frosting, and so many sprinkles they fall from your lips. It’s delicious and you make sure to come visit this donut place again to get the same delicious donut. For a person with depression, a donut has almost no flavor. We bite into it and while we know what a donut tastes like, there’s still something unfamiliar about it, even though we’ve had it numerous times. We know we’re supposed to love it, but we’re only eating it because we go through the motions. We don’t care where it’s from. We don’t care about the flavor. That’s apathy for you. 

Depression is a disorder. It can be treated but it can’t be cured. As much as I believe in the power of prayer, prayers aren’t always answered in the way we want it to be answered. I also believe in the power of medicine and it can’t be cured with pills. I’ve done diets, I’ve done workouts, I’ve done acupuncture, I’ve done all of it and it can’t be cured but I do have hope. It’s very uncomfortable but just like comfort is a form of atrophy, hope is oxygen for the soul.