After writing on this blog for years, I've grown up from the last decade. Just like cringe-worthy moments I have in my life, I have a few I've shared on my blog. Just like in real life, I was growing and sharing. Some blog posts have hurt people, offended them, or just made them angry. I'm grateful the majority of my readers are strong women who stick with their convictions, but I'm extra grateful they have a heart of grace and can either hit the unfollow button or simply send that email with love and not hate.
+ One in particular as I read, I remember the emails and anonymous comments (now deleted). When I wrote this post, I was far from pregnant. I didn't have any close friends who were pregnant or had kids, online or off. I haven't even picked up a pregnancy book or read "mommy blogs". I wasn't educated enough on different types of labors and ignorantly believed the only way a baby is born is to be pushed out. The thought of of a c-section, adoption, fostering, step parents, etc. didn't even come to mind when writing this. I know understand how birth and raising a child is a beautiful thing, regardless of the process and for this I truly apologize.
+ Ok, this one was a hard one to publish but I left out a detail. In this post, I wrote a story on how a kindle of kittens were trapped and as a ten year old I was apathetic to the situation. Most of the emails were horrible (understandably), and I left up the least non-threatnening comments. However, I did receive one of the most vulnerable emails I'll ever remember. One reader pointed out that if a young child isn't bothered by a small animal's death, then obviously there's something not right in the home, and from that, we became close over a broken childhood and abuse. Maybe one day I'll share my story, but that post was not the time. By the grace of God, I have no idea how I came to be the person I am now, but I definitely cry over those kittens today.
+ This post. Gold leggings? What was I thinking??
+ Ok, could I have sounded anymore pretentious here? My heart was in the right place, but boasting about it wasn't the way to go about it.
A lot of my writing back then was just full of insecurities, filled posts with expensive stuff I bought for validation, and I was in my early twenties trying to find my voice (even some not that long ago). It may have brought regrets, but it also brought up a lot of nostalgia. I miss my old hobbies, the silly stuff I posted, and loved the connections I've made. I'm more confident in who I am now, and can laugh and move on from those words I published. Blogging is fun, and part of the fun is looking back at who I was, and who I'm becoming. Thanks for letting me share (and cringing with me in the process). Will I regret this blog post? We'll see...